Don't be mistaken.
It's not a debate that they just started. They don't want to hear your viewpoint. Or even listen to anything any of you say. They want to fight and argue. More than anything.
It's a trap. They are dragging you into a labyrinth of phrases and anecdotes. Your counterpoints are powerless in that maze.
The only way to win (and it's hardly a win for anyone) is to stay away from the fight. Don't follow them into the maelstrom of outrage. Don't try to reason them out of their anger.
Instead, simply ask them what it is that they want. Make them say it.
For example, "What are the words that you're not allowed to say anymore?
"Which ones specifically?
"Say those words to us here at the table.
"Stop 'owning' and reveal yourself fully to your family and friends."